Many of us obsess over our weight. However, our relationships with food and weight are often a symptom of something else. Today, I’m joined by Tricia Nelson who shows us how to go deeper by healing the underlying causes of emotional eating.
Listen to the Episode
Lasting improvements to weight require us to address
- Stress levels
- Personal priorities
- Past and present traumas
- Emotional blocks
About Tricia Nelson
Tricia Nelson lost fifty pounds by identifying and healing the underlying causes of her emotional eating. She has spent nearly thirty years researching the hidden causes of the addictive personality. Tricia is an Emotional Eating Expert and author of the #1 bestselling book, Heal Your Hunger, 7 Simple Steps to End Emotional Eating Now. She is also the host of the popular podcast, The Heal Your Hunger Show. A highly regarded speaker and coach, Tricia has been featured on NBC, CBS, KTLA, FOX, and Discovery Health.
Emotional Eating is a Sign of Something Deeper
Emotional eating comes in a number of forms. In short, Tricia defines it as burying your emotions with food. This is an unconscious behavior much of the time. We discuss when this becomes an addiction and a sign of a much larger problem.
This gets to why most diets fail. Tricia explains that this happens when people focus on the symptom rather than the cause. Weight gain is merely the result of something else. When we ignore this, we may be able to lose weight. However, failing to address underlying emotional causes means that any improvements will be temporary.
The Root of Eating Disorders
Tricia talks about the primary drivers of emotional eating. These are pain, fear, and guilt. A lot of this is rooted in the way we’re living. It’s not so much an eating problem as it is a living problem. We have to examine how we’re living.
For those of us who are constantly trying to people-please, have a racing mind, or are afraid of emotional expression, eating disorders are a common result.
This all gets to the notion that food cravings are emotional and self-created. There is no reason to blame yourself for this. However, once you understand that you created them, you can begin to change your behavior to eliminate the problem.
Call the Integrative Health and Hormone Clinic today and schedule your first appointment at 319-363-0033.
“It’s not about the food. It seems like it’s about the food when you’re in the food, but it’s really a symptom of something much deeper.” [5:16]
“Overweight is a symptom of overeating and overeating is a symptom of what’s eating me.” [11:56]
“Say it. Don’t stuff it. And say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.” [26:45]
“If you replace that unhealthy food with connection, with community, with heart-to-heart conversations… it really does feed your soul. That’s really what you’re hungry for.” [28:54]
In This Episode
- What an emotional eater is [5:45]
- Why many diets end in failure [11:35]
- The causes of emotional eating behaviors [14:15]
- Common personality traits of emotional eaters [25:30]
- How health coaches can be emotional eating coaches too [29:20]
Links & Resources
Tricia Nelson 0:04
Say it don't stop it and say what you mean mean what you say but don't say it mean
Dr. Stephanie Gray 0:12
Welcome to the your longevity blueprint podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Stephanie gray. My number one goal with the show is to help you discover your personalized plan to build your dream health and live a longer, happier, truly healthier life. Today, you're going to get to hear from Trisha Nelson, she's going to share why 98% of all diets fail how you can determine if you're an emotional eater and dive into the hidden causes of emotional eating and how to heal them. Let's get rolling.
Thanks for joining me for another episode of The your longevity blueprint podcast today I have on guest Tricia Nelson. She has lost 50 pounds by identifying and healing the underlying causes of her emotional eating. She has spent nearly 30 years researching the hidden causes of the addictive personality. Trisha is an emotional eating expert and author of the number one best selling book heal your hunger seven simple steps to end emotional eating now, she's also the host of the popular podcast the heal your hunger show. She is a highly regarded speaker and coach and she has been featured on nbc cbs KTLA, KTLA Fox and discovery health. So welcome to the show, Tricia, thank you so happy to be here. Well, tell us your journey. So obviously, you're an emotional eating expert which piques my interest. I don't know that I know many emotional eating experts. So So how did your journey lead you to start healing your hunger? Tell us your story?
Tricia Nelson 1:40
Absolutely. You know, I think it started way back when, when I was a really little kid, and I just had an absolute love affair with food. And I loved food, I obsessed about food I whenever there was sugar, my hand was in the sugar in the cookie jar, the Sugar Bowl, whatever. And so food was a big highlight for me. And I didn't think anything of it for a while until I started gaining weight. And then you know, at puberty, I started gaining weight, and I gained a lot of weight. And by age 21, I was 50 pounds overweight, and I had this roll on my tummy that I would imagine cutting off you know how you can cut off the fat off the side of a steak, you know, and so I think it was bad after all, I should be able to slice it. Thank God, I didn't try that. But he was just, you know, really plagued with this obsession with my weight once I started gaining weight and feeling really bad about myself. And so I thought oh, maybe I'll join the army and be forced to go through boot camp because I hated the exercise.
Or maybe I'll get some disease, right automatically lose weight. So some pretty out there thoughts. And this is after I had tried lots of things. So I of course like everybody started dieting, I did diets, I joined gyms and exercise programs, and we like to say pills, potions and lotions. You know, if there's a quick fix out there, you know, advertised I'd be checking it out trying it and nothing I tried worked. And I even started going deeper. I went to 12 step programs, I read self help books. I even went to an eating disorders therapist for a year, twice a week, so I was not Wow. Yeah, I was trying to get to the bottom of this. Everything I tried, you know, I mean, things worked for a time I could lose weight, but I always put it back on. And I'm one of these people have like five different sizes of jeans in my closet. Because I never knew what size I was gonna be I was a yo yo er, so I'd be up 20 down 10 up 30 down five, you know, and I was always holding out for those skinny jeans I was hoping to get back to but it was just a constant struggle.
And so that was my life. And what happened for me at some point, I just thought, here I am on this dieting, roller coaster ride. I'm always unhappy with my weight. You know, I look at pictures. I know what weight I was at every photo I see from the past. And I know how I felt about my body at the time. I thought I can't keep living this way. But I had exhausted so many things. And it was at that time that I thought I've got to do something drastically different. And by the grace of God, Stephanie at that time, I was I met somebody I was introduced to somebody who had a different solution for me and I started mentoring with this person. And he showed me how to really go deeper and deal with the underlying causes, you know, like food and weight, were just a symptom. And I got to go deeper. And that's what I did. And I started dealing with the underlying causes changing my life. And it changed everything for me and I've been blessed to be in a thin body for over 30 years now and help 1000s of women who have had that same struggle and I take the mystery out of it for them feeling your hunger is really about a very specific and proven system to end emotional eating. Because that was really what I was, I was an emotional eater, and I was totally overlooking that.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 5:11
So you went deeper? And is that what you then walk your clients through? Like, going deeper? Okay.
Tricia Nelson 5:15
Absolutely. Because it's not about the food. You know, it seems like it's about the food when you're in the food, but you know, it's really a symptom of something much deeper. And that's where I go with people. And I and I take the mystery out of it. So it's not like, you know, and it's never one thing people are like, well, was it the time that you know, my dad left, you know, for six weeks? Or was it the time that my Aunt Sally died? You know, it's like, we're always looking for that one thing. But it's not just one thing. It's really a web of things. And I really unravel that and tangle that web for people.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 5:46
I want to talk about that web. But let's first define what an emotional eater or food addict is. So who of the listeners maybe they know if they fall into that category? But maybe if some of us don't know for sure, for that category? Can you help us define that and recognize if we land there
Tricia Nelson 6:00
totally, because a lot of people don't they're like, does it mean I'm eating Ben and Jerry's and crying like what is emotional eating? So, so it's, it's a lot of different things. There are a lot of myths around it, people think that if they're not a binge eater, they're not an emotional eater. That's not necessarily true. That's a myth. Some people can eat three squares a day and still be an emotional eater. If they're squares, you tend toward pastas and potatoes and starchy, carbee foods, if they always have to have dessert with their meal, you know, if there's a real dependence on the heavier carbee foods that can be for emotional reasons. emotional eating is essentially burying your emotions with food consciously or unconsciously.
And now that people are listening, they might become more conscious, you know, but so much of the time like me, people think, Oh, I just like food. That's what I thought for a long time as till I started to really notice that wow, first of all, like, I'd go to lunch with friends, and they'd order like a sandwich, and it would come with fries, and then to eat their sandwich and pick up their fries. I would always eat my fries and pick up my sandwich. And then I'd be like, how can anybody leave a french fry on their plate, you know, and so like I was the car be greasy foods, I wanted those I was very emotionally connected to those things. Sugar I was very connected to I couldn't stop. So emotionally eating also comes with a pattern of not being able to hold back not being able to stop not being able to say no, it's like, I gotta have dessert. And then it kind of triggers me and late at night, if my mind is racing, and I've got a lot of worries, I go down to the kitchen, and I have a bowl of cereal, and then I have some cinnamon toast and then I dig into the cookies.
You know, it's like it one thing leads to another. So it's definitely somebody who's losing control. And I do have a quiz on my website that can help people determine if they're emotionally eater or a food addict or somewhere in between, because it's really a spectrum. And I believe, Stephanie, that we're all connected to food in an emotional way, way. I believe God made us that way. You know, it's like, if we didn't somehow have an emotional connection with food, we might just blow off eating, you know, and so and we need to subsist So, you know, that emotional connection, I think we all can go there. Like, it's like, we want comfort food, we want eat pastries, one eat doughnuts, you know, or if something bad happens, we want to bury ourselves in pasta and butter. You know, it's it's a normal thing. We're losing control. And when we're doing it in spite of really negative consequences, that's where the addictive nature of it starts to come in. And that is one of the you know, some of the telltale signs of addiction is, first of all, are you able to stop?
Or are you able to moderate? If not, that's a trouble sign. Are you somebody who doesn't inspite of mounting consequences like diabetes, or that your doctor tells you you're you're pre diabetic, but you'd gone for the ice cream anyway, like, so many of my clients are like, they come to me and they're like, God, Trish, I know better, but I do it anyway. And it drives me nuts. Because they're studying health. They're trying to get to the Bama, they study health, they might even be a help become a health coach, or they're like they're so intent on figuring it out. So they have a lot of head knowledge. But it doesn't change what they end up doing when they're face to face with a piece of cake. That's really frustrating for people. It's really this quiz that's on my website, which is heal your hunger calm. If you go to heal your hundred.com you'll see the quiz. It's free. It's like three minutes to take the quiz.
But you'll find out where you are on that spectrum. And like you literally get a personalized score. And that spectrum is really qualified by two things. One is the level of control that you have. Okay, so somebody on the low end of the spectrum, hey, they might you know, go on vacation, eat too much junk food, drink too much wine. they've gained five pounds, they come back and they're like jogging extra miles every single day and cutting out sugar. That's somebody with a lot of control. Okay, yeah, they let loose but they course corrected or somebody on the high end. You know, once they let loose, they can't course correct. It just turns into this Terrible rabbit hole they fall into. And six weeks later, they've gained 15 pounds, you know, or the pandemic happens, some big emotional upheaval happens. And they've just lost it. I have so many people tell me, oh my god, I was doing good until the pandemic hit, that big, emotional avalanche happens. And they just they lose it, like they lose it, and they can't get back to, quote, doing good. And the other thing that really determines where somebody is on that spectrum, is the number of consequences they have, is it affecting how they feel about themselves, which it's hard not to when you're gaining 15 pounds in a six weeks period of time you feel crappy?
Are you like having trouble getting off the couch and getting out and getting fresh air? Are you depressed? Are you feeling like you want to hide out? Do you keep your video off? When you're on zoom calls? You know, or do you cancel appointments with friends, because you don't want them to see how much weight you've gained during the pandemic, you know, these are things that are consequences, heart disease, diabetes, metabolic syndrome, out of immune issues, when you see all these things, you know, and so much of them are definitely either affected or completely created by our diet. And so we've got to take a look at that. But that's, you know, emotionally eating tends to be one of the hidden causes that people are overlooking, when they are struggling with health issues. And when they're struggling with weight issues, you know, it's like, again, they know what to eat, the doctor prescribes them a really good healthy diet, but they're going off the rails anyway. And that's because of emotional eating.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 11:35
Let's talk about that. Maybe you just answered the question I was gonna ask, but I was gonna ask, Why do 98% of all diets fail? A lot of my patients, they come in and say I've done everything. I've done everything. And then I have to say, Okay, well tell me what everything is, tell me what you've tried. But why do why do diets
Tricia Nelson 11:50
fail? Well, it's because they're focused on the symptom of weight. They're just treating the symptom. But though, you know, overweight is a symptom of over eating. And overeating is a symptom of what's eating me. And if we don't look there, you know, we'll lose the weight. But then what happens is, we weren't born I was not born 50 pounds overweight. You know, I ate my way to 50 pounds overweight, I snapped my way I nibbled my way I late night binge my way to 50 pounds overweight. So it really, you know, just applying a diet will fail or an exercise program will fail. If I don't look at how would I get there in the first place? Like what was going on? What was I stuffing? You know, why was I compelled to eat every time it was quiet in the house, or every time something upsetting happened with my spouse, that's really where we need to start looking also our stress level, I mean, you know, and I'm sure you teach time and time again, you know that when your cortisol levels are high, you're going to hold on to weight, you know, and you're going to have struggles, you're gonna have cravings, the whole thing.
And so let's look at that stress. And, you know, my experience is over eaters or over doers. So we're always overdoing, we're always putting too much on our plate, so to speak, we're saying yes to everything, every time somebody asked us to do something we're jumping right in to be the good sport. But it comes with a high price. And that is that we're stressed out. And we are gaining weight on account of it, we're using food for energy, quick energy, you know, and we have bad habits, and we're not slowing down. So all this has to be looked at, you know, so the idea that a diet can fix any of that is silly, like it's a it's a systemic issue. And if you just change what you eat, and you don't change your stress level, you don't change, you know, your priorities. You don't make yourself a priority. If you're trying to be Superwoman without the fuel the excess fuel of, you know, sugars and carbs, you're gonna give up, you're gonna be like, this is too hard. I mean, people tell me time and time again, I was doing great. Now we all get that high, when we're losing weight, like feels great. Look, people are comment and you're like, why do I got this? You know, but like two weeks later, it's like we're slogging through it. And it's so hard, you know. And it's hard. Because we're not changing how we live, we change how we eat, we didn't change how we live and the stress level, we go back to the film, because it's like, I can't carry on this way.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 14:16
I want to dive a little deeper here. So I want to get into what causes emotional eating, and kind of binge eating behaviors. And you've already alluded to stress, right? That stress could be one trigger. And I know you can't just give us one answer, because it's different based on the person. But can you give us maybe some examples of what you found the lanes that you've worked with, like what their causes were, so maybe the listeners can identify with some of that? Well, here's
Tricia Nelson 14:39
the good news. The good news is I've never met a remote leader that doesn't have at least a dozen of the 24 personality traits of an emotional eater. And I call this the anatomy of the emotional eater and it's literally in my research 24 personality traits that we all have in varying degrees, or at least a dozen of them. Okay, so, so I'll tell you that it's all in You're all in Yes. All my books. So I'll give you three. Okay, so absolute number one trait of an emotional eater is people pleasing because as emotionally eaters, you know, we tend to have trauma in our past we tend to have maybe a rocky childhood where there was mental illness, some addiction or alcoholism or some kind of dysfunction that tends to be kind of why we turn to food it was Yeah, as a kid you don't have you can't go score drugs, you know, you're going to use the thing closest to you to anesthetize your pain and we use food as a painkiller we use food actually is three things. I'll go to this and then I'll get back to the people pleasing. We use food I call it the pep test. The first TP stands for painkiller.
So we use food as a form of painkiller when we have pain when we have a mother who's alcoholic when he when dad is arranger, you know we're in pain, or a parent who's critical or a priest who's doing things they shouldn't be doing with us. You know, it's like, oh, my God, life is so painful. I need to take refuge in like really get out of this pain. So numb the pain and food is does that that's why we like carbs. That's why we like sugar, the heavier hotter foods are going to bury the pain. So we use food as a form of painkiller, maybe you know, it's a relationship that doesn't work or a job that we're unhappy in. I mean, there's so many reasons why people are eating, but it has to do with numbing out pain, the E and Pap, the E, and pep stands for escape. And we use food as a form of escape, because sometimes our reality is just really scary. I'd say march of 2020, our reality got scary really fast. You know, when we had lockdown when we realized, wow, you could literally walk out the door and die. You know, like that is a reality nobody wanted to be present for and so everybody was checking out with food. I mean, I had friends calling me who always completely didn't relate to being an emotional eater are calling me and saying, Trisha, I can't stop eating. You know, we're at home, we're quarantined with food. And we're scared. That was a big reaction as people are numbing out with food. So food is a great escape. It takes us away from our fears. And our worries.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 17:03
I saw that a lot last year, too. So I I've had patients come in who I haven't seen in a year, and they literally have gained 30 or 40, some even 50 pounds. Yes. I mean, I've through my you know, last decade of practice, I've never seen so many individuals gain so much weight over a course of time. And they're all coming in kind of saying the same thing. So I think that was that's a good example. They at least I think a lot of these individuals after listening to you, right? were escaping last year. So I like that you're putting that together. Okay, sorry. Next.
Tricia Nelson 17:31
Now, the last P and pap stands for punishment. And we don't think of this as a little counterintuitive because we think of food as a reward. But the truth is, we care, you know, over eaters are like we're deep feelers. So we feel deeply. We're kind of like a walking pin cushion where everything kind of hurts. We feel very sensitive to feeling guilty feeling like we said the wrong thing, feeling like we did the wrong thing, replaying conversations in our minds, because we're very busy minds. This is also a trait of an emotional eater, is having a racing mind, you know, what does she mean by that? Or I shouldn't have done that, or I should have done this better? or Why did I say that? You know, it's like, we're constantly replaying conversations and our heads and feeling really bad. Or we're going over situations when we're a kid or situation as parents, you know, we're beating the crap out of ourselves because of our parenting style, or, you know, things that we did or said to our kids.
So we're really sensitive to guilt. And then there's no better way than just gorging ourselves on food, gaining weight. It's like It's like this built in punishment. Yeah, it feels good in the moment as an escape that works as a painkiller and an escape. But then it's got this built in whooping stick, you know, where it beats us? Like, can we literally abuse ourselves with food and so that people might not think of an eating to hurt myself. But if you think about a binge gone bad, you know, the next day when you're feeling sick, and your pants don't fit, and you cancel, you know, a lunch date with girlfriends, it's because you've just beat the crap out of your body with food, you know? And what's that about? That's not nice behavior. That's not good treatment. That's not self love. That's why we have to go deeper. We can't just smack you know, like, like, slap on a diet, we've got to start looking at what am I doing to myself, and why am I doing this to myself? And that's really the deeper conversation that we have with heal your hunger. So back to the people pleasing.
So I mean, basically pain, fear and guilt. Just to recap, the pep test will reveal the three primary emotions which are pain, fear and guilt. These are the three drivers, but how do we get into pain? How do we get into fear and and what causes guilt? And a lot of it is the way we're living. And I often say, Stephanie, that it's really not an eating problem, but a living problem. You know, and again, we can't just look at the eating we've got to look at how we're living, so people pleasing for emotional eaters who had trouble childhood We didn't get a strong sense of ourselves as a kid, I had sexual abuse as a young kid. And it's like, I didn't get a strong sense of self esteem. I just didn't get it. Not to blame anyone, I just know it. So I looked for it outside of myself, and this is very typical for emotional eaters is that we want validation from the outside, we want the added girls, you know, we want somebody to tell us, we're good. And we're valid, we want to be validated that comes with price, you know, so we say yes to everything we're taking on all the extra projects that work, you know, we're doing our kids homework, so they can shine, you know, it's like, we're doing so many things that we really don't have the the bandwidth for.
But we're doing this in hopes of feeling like we're good people, like I so wanted to feel like I was a good person, because I thought it was so bad. You know, it's terrible. My self talk was so negative, like you're stupid, you're lazy, you're bad. You're worthless. You know, you don't know you're not smart. I mean, I had so many negative thoughts, you know, so I was always just running myself ragged, trying to prove my worth. But what happens when you're people pleasing all the time is, first of all, you do run yourself ragged, and you exhaust your adrenals? You know, try to be all things to all people. But then the kicker is they're never as pleased as you expect them to be. Right? People are like an offhanded. Oh, thanks. You know, and you're like, thanks. Like, I just pulled an all nighter to get that project done. You know, like, What are you talking about? Thanks, you know, and so we don't get what we're looking to get from that. And I always say it's the perfect prescription for the I deserve it Ben's like, screw them, they're not going to appreciate me, I'm going to get my goodies on my way home from work, and sit in front of my favorite TV show and reward myself.
And that's how it happens, we're tired, we don't have the energy to cook a healthy meal. And we're just disgruntled because all that work didn't pay off. So this is, to me a perfect example of why it's a living problem, not an eating problem, and why just trying to follow a diet isn't gonna solve the problem, because if you're still doing this stuff, you know, you're still setting yourself up for unhealthy behaviors with food. So two of the other traits of the emotional eater. One is I alluded to earlier as having a racing mind. So as emotional eaters, we like overeaters or overthinker, as we think everything to death, you know, and we're always thinking about what other people think of us is if we can really control that, right, so but we're always obsessed with what people think of us, you know, and that takes a lot of energy, it takes a lot of effort. It's none of our stinking business, you know, but that's where we hang out trying to, like think everything to death. And it does get heavy, it gets heavy and exhausting. And food, so much of the time is a result of stress, like we are stress eating. And we're also looking for that quick energy because we're just exhausted.
But so much of the exhaustion is self created. And that's really what I want to drive home here is that, you know, we're not victims of our cravings. Yes, I am a sugar addict. If I eat sugar, all I want to do is eat sugar. Okay. And I'd be careful with carbs. Because if I eat carbs, you know, processed carbs, that's all I want to eat. So I have to be careful that stuff, but the thing is beyond the physical, you know, maybe hormonal issues that might be causing cravings. beyond that. It's emotional, like my cravings are emotional, and they're created by me. And that's not to blame myself. It's to say, Wow, if I created them, I can change my behavior. So I stopped creating them. So much of the time, we think we're just like victims of this, like we're besieged with this desire for chocolate and we're like, I'm in a trance, I must eat chocolate. But if we realize if we kind of unpack it, and we're like, Wow, those chocolate cravings are coming from the fact that I'm tired. I'm not doing proper self care. You know, I'm trying to be all things to all people. And I'm just, you know, I'm at a juice, that's where we have to go. That's where we have to start making real changes in our lives. Otherwise, we'll just be face to face with chocolate and chocolates gonna win.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 24:05
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Tricia Nelson 25:25
Well, I'll tell you, I actually give you two two of the 24 personal traits I gave you people pleasing and erasing mine. So I'll give you the third one. And this is perhaps one that people might not think of, but I did allude to it also regarding people pleasing is that we're afraid of expressing ourselves. So emotional eaters tend to eat what they should be saying. So we stuff we instead of saying it, we stuffed it. you stuff
Dr. Stephanie Gray 25:55
Tricia Nelson 25:56
right? It works. And again, it stems from people pleasing, we don't want anybody to be unhappy with us or mad at us. So we just say, Oh, you know, how are you doing? I'm fine. You know, and we don't say we're really feeling you know, it, which is an acronym for f up insecure, neurotic and emotional, by the way, fine, I'm fine. So the thing is that we have to learn to express ourselves in in my programs, I teach people literally 10 secrets to expressing yourself with confidence. Because if you keep stuffing, what you need to say, you know, if you don't tell your spouse, how you really feel, or what you really need, you know, and you're just gonna keep hating on them. That is not a solution is just going to cause more eating.
So again, another living problem that we have to work through instead of just focusing on the food. So say it, don't stuff it and say what you mean mean what you say, but don't say it mean. So problem is when we stuff it for so long. And then we finally say something it can't like we firehose people, we end up skeet comes out angry and rageful. And so there's a better way that's not going to help, you know, but there's a way to process your emotions and to just in a very kind, loving way, see how you really feel and it's going to improve your relationships, but it's also going to lower your stress and help you stop overeating.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 27:15
So in your programs, is that something you teach, like? communication? skill? Yeah,
Tricia Nelson 27:19
all of it. Yeah, I mean, we barely, we don't talk a whole lot about food, you know, my experiences, you know, when people you know, are attracted to heal your hunger, if they want help with emotional eating, they know a lot about nutrition, they could probably write a book on it, right? So it's not like it's not a secret to them, that they should be eating more greens, you know, and less carbs. Like that's not you know, sugars, probably not good for them. So they've got the basics, but how to apply that, you know, is the rub. And that's what I teach people is really the living, like I teach them how to live differently, how to communicate more effectively, how to, like really integrate self care in their life, how to meditate, pray, do things that are going to like suit their soul in a healthier way, like nourish them.
I also do most of my programs in community with other emotional eaters, so that they're relating with other people, you know, and it's makes all the difference, because everybody thinks they're the only one who's done the crazy things they've done with food. I mean, honestly, it's so funny, they important that isolation, and that feeling of being different fuels, the overeating as well. And so I do it, you know, I have these amazing group calls on zoom, you know, 20 or so women, and oh, my God, you can just see the relief come over people's faces and the laughter we have a lot of laughter when you talk about our crazy things that we've done with food and weight and crazy thoughts. And it's so fun, and it just isn't it's so much of a more beautiful and soul feeling way to heal. To me, that's the only way to heal. Because if you just take away food, you feel unhappy, because you don't have your foods you feel deprived.
If you replace that food, that unhealthy food, with connection with community, you know, with heart to heart conversations, and locking arms with other people on the same healing path. It really does feed your soul. And that's really what we're hungry for. Like it's not food we're hungry for.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 29:12
That's how you heal your hunger Mic drop. Yeah, that's good. That's so good. I think our listeners will really, really appreciate this. I want to ask you already alluded to a little bit of this also, but I want to ask about like health coaches. So I have a lot of patients who are even health coaches, and like you said, they know a lot about nutrition. So if they're struggling with food and weight themselves, and this is affecting their self confidence, like what advice do you have for them,
Tricia Nelson 29:37
get help. I mean, I actually train health coaches to be emotional eating coaches. And the best ones are the ones who have struggled themselves, like a lot of people think how can I help some of the food and this is part of the imposter syndrome that health coaches have. They're like, Oh my god, I'm telling my clients how to eat and I'm not following my own instructions. You know, my health coaches. I put through my program. As a first order of business is they literally go through my whole system. So they can get personal benefit and up level their own relationship with food. And let's face it, who couldn't uplevel their relationship with food, like we all could. So it's super helpful, they have a personal experience with it. But then, you know, it's so deepens their relationship with their clients that especially the emotional eating clients, because emotional eaters are like, if somebody else hasn't really struggled with it, or knows how to speak to their struggles, they'll feel a sense of separation and might not listen as closely or really feel connected.
And so it just deepens the relationship with the coaching clients, when you've come to terms with your own relationship with food in terms of your own emotional eating, and you have a solution for it. And you can literally talk about that solution, and help your clients through that step by step process to heal and, you know, a lot of health coaches, even if they're not emotional eaters, they're missing that key component. Because so many clients are emotional eaters. I mean, if this is a rampant problem, you know, anybody who struggles with food and weight chronically, in my experience is typically an emotional eater. You know, if they've been on several diets, it's because of emotional eating that they keep going back.
So there's a gap with health coaches, where they're trying to get their client, they like want to shake them and say, no no's, stop eating that pizza at night, don't do that. If they don't understand the emotional underpinnings, if they don't understand what's like, what's really driving that person, and they're just focusing on trying to get them to eat, right, they're missing a very rich, you know, opportunity to really serve their clients and help their clients get over the finish line, you know, finally reach their goal weight by doing this deeper work and the deeper self care.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 31:47
It sounds like that emotional underpinning is really the true root cause of most chronic disease if a lot of chronic diseases a result of being overweight, right, absolutely. So absolutely fascinating. So obviously, this episode applies to longevity for facts that I just mentioned. Many times we can get rid of chronic disease if we can lose weight, but how do we lose weight, we have to heal the emotional eating. So you've, you've alluded to a lot. So you've sparked a lot of interest. In my mind. I have a lot more questions. But I'll wrap this up today and encourage that listeners read your book. And then check out your products you have available online as well. So I do you want to hear about those. But first, let's go back to longevity for a moment. So what would your top longevity tip be,
Tricia Nelson 32:30
besides connecting with me so I can, you know, maybe go deeper with you, I would say definitely slow down emotional eaters, you know, over as I said, earlier, overeaters are over doers. And that drive, which really is driven by a fear of being with ourselves and our thoughts and our feelings. 75% of emotional eaters do most of their eating late at night, you know, or from 4pm on is because that's when the buisiness of the day settles down. That's when things get quieter. And we're just afraid to be with ourselves. You know, and so it's really important to, you know, we have to make peace with ourselves in order to heal. We cannot keep running like a hamster on a wheel, we've got to stop, slow down. And I give people tools to do that. So it's not so scary. But that's my number one piece of advice is no slow down to let you catch yourself. Let you catch yourself. It's not so big, bad and scary inside there. There's so much love in there. You're good. And that's the key is to get rid of everything that's not love so that you can feel the love that is there inherently
Dr. Stephanie Gray 33:36
beautiful, very beautiful. Take us back to that quiz you mentioned. So how can listeners connect with you and take your quiz?
Tricia Nelson 33:42
Yeah, heal your hundred.com h e l l heal your hunger calm and the quiz will pop up, you can take that quiz. And for anybody as a health coach, you can also beyond that there's a tab on there for health coaches, I offer like an 18 minute training on five things your clients or your patients wish you knew, but they're too afraid to tell you. So there's a really powerful training there as well. So that's a great way to start. I also have a podcast, which you've been a guest on. Yeah. Yeah, the heal your hunger show. And so I have over 300 episodes, and we talk about these underlying causes all the time. I'm really and I get very personal on there about my own my own journey. So definitely check that out.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 34:25
One more thing I hear you have a quit sugar challenge. So tell the audience about that.
Tricia Nelson 34:29
Oh, my goodness, it's so much fun. It's a five day challenge, where you quit sugar together with hundreds of other people who are just sick and tired of being sick and tired. So sugar is the most addictive substance out there. And if you've quit sugar before and you've gone back to it, it's time to get support and to do it with other people. So I teach about really what's going on with sugar and how it's affecting your body. We talk about the hidden sugars that are in the foods that even the ones that you are healthy. And we do a lot of sweet sleuthing works. I call it sweet sleuthing where everybody goes to their cupboards. And if they sleuth out the hidden sugars and post about it, we have prizes each day. We also talk about sweet swap. So I give you recipes, where you can swap out sugar and use healthier substitutes like stevia and monk fruit. And so people are posting recipes was just really fun, super inexpensive, just like less than 20 bucks. And it's just a great way to finally kick sugar and to do it in community with others and to really start to understand why you sabotage and go back to it. So we cover it, you know, soup to nuts, so to speak, in five days. And lastly, social media. Where
Dr. Stephanie Gray 35:41
can we find you on social media?
Tricia Nelson 35:43
Instagram, I'm Tricia Nelson underscore, I also have on Facebook, a group where people can join and get support. It's called the secret sauce to end emotional eating, and you just type that in into Facebook. Awesome. Well, thank
Dr. Stephanie Gray 35:57
you so much for coming on the show and enlightening our audience about the importance of emotional eating and what we can do about it. So thank you for your program and what you offer clients.
Tricia Nelson 36:07
Yeah, great to be here. And thanks for all your amazing work, Stephanie.
Dr. Stephanie Gray 36:11
Thank you. I really feel like I had an aha moment after listening to that interview. emotional eating is truly at the root of so many chronic diseases that stem from being overweight. This information can help so many of my patients and listeners. So if you've been a yo yo diet or if you're a people pleaser, who has used food to escape, please check out heal your hunger calm and take her quiz. And if you want to join her next challenge supported by a community of women also interested in healing their hunger, be sure to check out her next quit sugar challenge, which is actually starting next month this October. Watch for my emails on this and use the link in the show notes to register. Be sure to check out my book your longevity blueprint.
And if you aren't much of a reader, you're in luck. You can now take my course online where I walk you through each chapter in the book plus for a limited time the course is 50% off, check this offer out at your longevity blueprint comm and click the course tab. One of the biggest things you can do to support the show and help us reach more listeners is to subscribe to the show. Leave us a rating and review on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. I do read all the reviews and would truly love to hear your suggestions for show topics guests and for how you're applying what you learn on the show to create your own longevity blueprint. The podcast is produced by the team at counterweight creative As always, thank you so much for listening and remember, wellness is waiting.
The information provided in this podcast is educational no information provided should be considered to be or used as a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always consult with your personal medical authority.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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